THE UNTOLD

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      It was just one week left to tie the knot, I couldn't wait to bear the name 'Mrs Fred',that I've always dreamt of, I watch the clock tick each hour, I sight the sky get brighter and darkened each day.The new neighbour Mr and Mrs Edom were actually new couple,I could perceive the love in the air, I would giggle each time I hear them laugh out so loud and play like kids when in the compound.I walked straight into the sitting room opened the drawer and reached out for the photo album,I took a glimpse at every photo, from my childhood to my convocational photo, they all brought beautiful memories to me raising my cheeks so high , I stumped on uncle Wale's wedding pictures,I felt so pained, he has been married for three years without a child,who knows how they've felt all these years, I could hear the new neighbour scream from their flat,and that made me laugh so hard, does love make people this mad??.

   I and fred went on a date that Friday evening,while we sat and watched the dancers dance to those afro beats songs,with fred's eyes so glued to them, I could imagine how I would so dance on my wedding reception with my beautiful red gown.I held his hand and beckoned on him, "you are carried away dear, let's talk".For almost two minutes I stared closely into his eyes, viewing every picture of how we've been together and how the future would look for both of us, of the man I've always dreamt of and the man am about to get married to,are we truly meant for each other? "Fred!! Do you love me?",he paused and then replied "Baby I love you with everything in my".I still didn't take off my eyes from his, I needed the boldness to ask him all I would "Fred If I give birth to children and I lose shape or have any deformity will you still love me like you do now? If we get married and aren't able to bear children early, will you leave me behind and go  for other strange woman? If I can't give you a male child, would you still love me like you do or get married to a second wife? If I start ranting would you raise those hands on me? Fred if issues comes up that we can't resolve by ourselves will you file a divorce?.His eyes turned red while he stutter and stare at me with so much confusion. And I got the big reply "yes" from him, still don't believe he recalled everything I asked. We talked a while and left.

  It was two years after our wedding day, and it saddens me that we weren't able to birth a child,talk more of a miscarriage. This wasn't what I expected, I had gone for various scan and test and I was confirmed to be alright apart from Fred who has refused to join me in the test, but would sing 'faith faith' all the time in my ears,and I kept asking myself "for how long would we continue to have faith? "when am not sure he's moved by our present condition. We became the gist for everybody, I would cover my head with a long head tie that would cover my face like the hausa women to avoid people staring at me. I went extra length to take herbal drugs despite being confirmed to be alright by the doctor. I prayed earnestly each day and night that passes to God for just a child  of any gender,it became so worst after we had our tenth marriage anniversary that I even prayed to God for an abnormal child if that would be the only one I could get, I would manage as not to be tagged 'a man in woman appearance or a barren'.

 It was fifteen years of our marriage that I threatened Fred for a divorce if he refuses to join me for the test.He declined at first but when he saw how serious I was, he agreed to join me. That tuesday morning while preparing to go with him to the hospital,I got so confused when I met him praying with every breath in him like never before,I felt so bad with myself, as tho I never believed in God nor have faith like Fred did. We got to the hospital,after the doctor had conducted the test, he told us to return the next day for the result. I felt so satisfied, "now I can know how and where to draw my prayers from".The next day without hesitating we rushed to the hospital, then we got the test result from the doctor in his office,I couldn't wait to get home to unveil the result, so I urge Fred to open it, and it dawned on me that I have been living in deceit all my life ,Fred has been impotent even before we got married without telling me, for good fifteen years he hide this from me.I burst out in tears, as I held Fred on his tie, I almost strangle him to death, as the doctor held me back. My heart was broken, my heart was smashed to the floor, I couldn't hold myself.I went home, packed my belongings, I was about leaving when Fred ran in, kneeling and crying like a new born baby, pleading and apologising, but my mind was already sealed. "How would I forgive you when you never told me of your UNTOLD story all this years of agony and pains?".

 I came to realize that our past we keep on hurting and hunting us if we don't tell the untold story to the right people and if we don't forgive and forget about them. Today we celebrate our 20th anniversary with our first daughter Ayo,  it could only be God.


The Untold
MakeITRight
DorA












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